Hospital Bloopers written on charts



A Few funnies From Actual writings from hospital charts:


2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states
she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over
a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day
it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also
appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in
1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert
but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13 . While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examinatio n revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her
life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for
physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and
accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other
abnormalities.

orite gaunty9 m8 a fink vat jowks ok m8 but ya reely shunt jowk abowt ospittels m8.wen a wos a kid a wos in 1 4 a bit an vey swoppt orl ma blud 4 sum ovver fukkers a can tell ya it wont funny m8 cos of ma arm cayned 4 weeks .juss fink abowt peeple lyke me b4 ya mek vem jowks m8.Hu ya ply 4 m8 an dya wont eny plyers

alright phil m8 and i call ya m8 cos im your biggest fan...nothing aimed directly at hospitals m8 just the odd comment or 2 written on the patients assesment board...which are true and rather funny...not sure if we need players m8 but i`ll ask for you