What about this one then?
A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He
breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a
young couple in
bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While
tying the
homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses
her neck,
then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:
"Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's
probably
spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw
how he
kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain do
whatever he
tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy
is
obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be
strong, honey.
I love you!".
His wife responds:
"He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me
that
he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any vaseline. I
told him it
was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you!".

lmao