Guy wins the lottery and decides to buy a racehorse.  He gets a top trainer to train it. Day of its first race comes round and he has arranged to meet the trainer at the course but on the way there gets a call from him saying he is stuck in traffic and may not make it in time. He says he would ring the jockey and tell him but as phones arn't allowed in the jockeys room could he go to see him and give him the specific intructions what to do.

He gets in the jockeys room finds his jockey and says, when you are coming up to a fence just whisper in his ear 1-2-3 jump and the horse will do the rest. Well the jockey goes off on one and says that he's been riding horses for over 10 years and know how to handle them and storms off.

The race get underway and coming up to the first fence he says nothing....CRASH....the horse goes straight through the fence. Luckily he stays on board. This is repeated at the second fence and by this time he is like 20 lengths adrift at the back so at the 3rd fence he whispers 1-2-3 jump and the horse soars over the fence. At the next fence 1-2-3 jump the horse soars over that too. Hes making up so much ground he get to the final fence and is only a couple of lengths behind the leader. 1-2-3 JUMP he shouts, the horse soars into the air and lands just behind the leader but despite his best efforts can't quite catch him and comes 2nd.

Shit, he thinks, if I had followed the owners advice I would have pissed that race, Id better think up an excuse. Hes back in the jockeys room and the owners comes storming in. What the fuck happened out there then. Well says the jockey I did what you said but I think he must be a bit deaf.

He's not deaf shouts the owner, hes fucking BLIND.

   

Yeah that's not bad